Memoirs of a Teenage Homesteader: Life Is A Funny Thing

Life is a funny thing sometimes. It can land some of the most absurd situations right smack dab in your lap. And you can choose whether to laugh or cry about it. Most of the time, it's after the fact, when you're taking a stroll down Memory Lane, that you just can't help laughing heartily at something that "befell" you. I guess you could say it's the same with me. As a teenage homesteader, Memory Lane is piled deep and wide with laughs and cries. Most would probably agree that my family and I lead a very "unique" existence. We are three regular Joes who live on a nice, cozy little mountain with our flocks and herds of crazy quadrupeds and feathery bipeds, no electricity(we have solar), no TV(we just watch videos), and NO "land-line" phone. In a nutshell, we are truly living in paradise! And since my life is so colorful and crazy, I thought I'd share a memory or two with you!
There is one memory in particular that makes me crack up every time! It was when we got our FIRST GOATS! And we had to start milking these things the very next morning after we brought them home. It was... shall we say... interesting! Put simply, it took All Three Of Us TO Do It!(And it stayed that way for awhile, until we got the hang of it!) One of us would actually do the deed, while another would make sure the goat was well stocked with grain (to keep her busy so she didn't struggle), and a third person to tie down the goat's hind legs with baling twine and hold on for dear life when she tried to kick! Oh, But that wasn't the end of our little fiasco! On top of it all, the person doing the milking had to endure the "Lean-to" and "Collapsible" routines! You see, at the time, we were milking two goats: one - a stocky, black, ornery as heck 5-year old, and the other - a smaller, more timid , brown 2-year old. The black one, who we named Haddi, would all of a sudden throw her entire weight onto your head, neck and shoulders in an attempt to either make you stop milking or just flat-out suffocate you. The brown one, who we named Chloe, would, at one point or another, collapse her entire rear-half until you could barely see her teats, much less milk them! By the time you were done with HER, you looked something like the hunchback of Notre Dam (from all that bending down)! You would have had to be there to understand what I mean, but let me tell you, it was hilarious! Thankfully, nowadays, it only takes one person to milk the goats (me), and whenever they give me any grief, a quick slap on the keister sets 'em straight. And even though they can be stubborn and ornery, heaven knows I love my goats! Anyways, I could ramble on and on about other funny little things that make my life so joyful, but that's for another article.
This is my life. I'm a teenage homesteader, bread-baker, hoof-trimmer, cow, sheep, goat, chicken, turkey, cat, dog and duck tender with a love for my home and a thankfulness to Almighty God for the good things he gives me every day!
I hope you enjoyed reading this little memoir of mine.
Y'all come back now, ya hear?